Lewies Blog

I just spent the last hour reading facts on farts. What a great way to waste time. Here is a quick summary of what I had learned.

I learned that the smelly part of a fart is formed mostly by bacteria reactions. The composition may consist mostly of air that you swallow. I also found out that everyone farts - even dead people. People who try to hold in farts can only do it so long as they are awake. A fart just goes back up into the intestinal tract only to return at a later time. There is no harm in holding in a fart, but it used to be believed that it was bad for your health to do so. Roman emperor Claudius even decreed that all Roman citizens shall be allowed to pass gas whenever necessary, but later reversed his decision in 315 BC.

Men fart just as much as women. Men appear to take more pride with the resonance of there farts and usually do it in the morning (known as “morning thunder”). It is possible and dangerous to ignite a fart. The flame will either be yellow or blue depending on the presence of methane. If you are one of the elite few, you might be able to join the Royal Order of the Blue Flame.

People have made money with there farts. Some have leaned how to breathe with there anus and then produce melodies. Money made through flatulence is also made with products to prevent it, reduce the smell, educational material, or to sell gag gifts such as the infamous whoopie cushion.

I learned that fish and turtles fart. Reptiles are really smelly. Cat’s and dogs have stinky farts because they eat lots of protein that contains sulfur. Cows fart a lot because they swallow large amounts of air. The termite has the highest output and produces just as much methane as all of us humans.

Smelling someone else’s fart will not make your farts stink more. Farts will not get you intoxicated. You may get a little dizzy from breathing in a high concentration of fart essence from lack of oxygen. A fart can not kill you. In World War II, the Air Force reported that men have died from flying the B-17 bombers at altitude of 20,000 feet because gas would rupture and rupture intestines in unpressurized cabins.

You can capture a fart by using a jar of water upside down in a bathtub. A fart is colorless. Farts are the same temperature as your body. If you fart on a cold day, you may end up having a white bushy tail.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 at 3:17 pm and is filed under Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.