Words Men and Women Use
My friend had a few jokes about words women use. I went on a hunt to see if I could find a few more and was in luck. I found them for both genders.
| She says … | She means … |
| Yes | No |
| No | Yes |
| Maybe | No |
| We need | I want |
| I’m sorry | You’ll be sorry |
| We need to talk | I need to complain |
| Sure…go ahead | I don’t want you to |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I’m beautiful |
| Do what you want | You’ll pay for this later |
| I’m not upset | Of course I’m upset, you moron! |
| Are you listening to me?? | Too late, you’re dead |
| You have to learn to communicate | Just agree with me |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights | I have flabby thighs |
| You’re so.. manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot |
| Do you love me? | I’m going to ask for something expensive |
| It’s your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
| You’re certainly attentive tonight | Is sex all you ever think about?? |
| I’ll be ready in a minute | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today that you’re really not going to like |
| He says … | He means … |
| I’m hungry | I’m hungry |
| I’m sleepy | I’m sleepy |
| I’m tired | I’m tired |
| Nice dress | Nice cleavage! |
| I love you | Let’s have sex now |
| I’m bored | Do you want to have sex? |
| What’s wrong | I guess sex tonight is out of the question |
| I love you, too | Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now! |
| May I have this dance? | I’d eventually like to have sex with you |
| Can I call you sometime? | I’d eventually like to have sex with you |
| Do you want to go to a movie? | I’d eventually like to have sex with you |
| Can I take you out to dinner? | I’d eventually like to have sex with you |
| Will you marry me? | I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys |
| You look tense, let me give you a massage | I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes |
| Let’s talk | I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me |
| I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit | I am gay |
Tags: Gender Wars, Jokes, Humor, Funny, Man, Woman, Translation, Battle of the Sexes
May 20th, 2005 at 3:45 am
Yes, I think you both have it about right.
May 20th, 2005 at 1:52 pm
And here I never thought a guy said “Let’s talk” unless it was after ‘break up sex.’
Thank you for the giggles this morning!
May 23rd, 2005 at 9:22 am
foruntatly most of these don’t aply to me.. not sure how many of themn aply to Lewie……