Antidepressants
My head is a throbbing. This usually happens when I have missed my daily dosage of Effexor XR more then two days. I thought I had taken it last night, and I am 100% sure I took it the night before. I think the problem is that I have been skipping my medication every other day.
As some of my regular readers may be aware, I am very low on funds. I’ve had to cut back on bills and just about every thing else under the sun to cover lawyer fees and the mortgage. I’ll be broke for about 3 more weeks.
The really bad news is that I’m almost out of my medication. I’ve been trying to stretch it out as best as I can. I can’t just go cold turkey on them either. The throbbing and fuzz that my mind becomes when I do so would become unbearable. This is the problem with anti depressants. They are a prescribed addiction.
Some people say that no one needs anti depressants. I wish I could say that was so. For most of my life, my mind has always felt … Clouded. Little things would aggravate or annoy me. I would snap often at people. I always felt that everyone was better then me. I was worthless. There was always something wrong with me. The list goes on, but I’m sure that you get the picture of what it is like.
I tried telling my mom once that a counselor told me that I was depressed and that there was a possibility that it could be a chemical imbalance. Mom wouldn’t acknowledge it and wouldn’t comment on it. I think that I trusted in her too much for advice and guidance. This was just another shot into my self esteem.
I started taking anti-depressants less then a year ago. At first, there were side effects regarding the inability to please my wife. After a while, those side effects went away. Things slowly changed for the better.
Opportunities came knocking. There was always a light at the end of a tunnel in bad situations. I was able to look ahead past problems. My mind became unclouded. I stopped snapping at people so often. I still had a few blow ups mind you, but life in general was not out to get me.
Angel would be proud of my achievements. She would point out the little things to me that were changing about my behavior around her. I was more open to things going on that otherwise would have sent me over the edge. I believe that her life has been much better since I have been on the medication as well.
I just wish it didn’t hurt like so when I need to stretch the budget.