Lewies Blog

Many friends of mine in the blogosphere are listing there most embarrassing moments. I figured that I would join in on the fun and list mine.

Most of my embarrassing moments were the result ignorance about my lactose intolerance until my wife pointed it out to me. Pretty painful experiences if you ask me. Once she suggested it, I was in denial at first. Looking back on my past, so many things started to make sense. I wonder why my parents never caught onto this.

One time was going to the movie theater to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Movie. I was with my brother and Gandhi. I ran to the bathroom but didn’t make it all the way in time. I cleaned myself up as best as I could and watched the movie, but the whole time I was there, I was hoping to God that no one could smell anything. Mom came by later to pick us up and go home.

Let’s see … There was that stage during puberty when I would spend long amounts of time in the bathroom. My mother stormed in on me once telling me to get off the toilet. I guess she thought I was doing something else that I hadn’t learned about at that time yet. A little after that, she took me in to see a doctor and from what I remember, he suggested to eat plenty of yogurt so that my stomach could handle food easier. Yea, like that would help. It pretty much made it worse.

While I was growing up, my parents would get a lot of government cheese. Me, my brother and two sisters would make a snack out of that stuff. It was easy. Cut it up into small cubes and dip it in mustard.

I was showing off how much of a man I could be by eating a very hot Jalapeno pepper at Popeye’s restaurant. It came in a small package individually wrapped. It was hard enough just to breathe. I immediately asked for milk to soothe the pain in my mouth. I spent the next hour on the toilet in a disgusting bathroom. It was one of those bathrooms where the door wouldn’t stay shut, so my hands are outstretched pressing against the door while my other end is ripping to pieces.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 27th, 2005 at 4:47 pm and is filed under Miscellaneous. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.